Name: Hot Dog

Age: Not sure, but approximately 13

Breed: Maine Coon

Nicknames: Doggie, Hot Doggers, Mister Doggy, Dawg, Old Man, Crotchety Bastard

Adoption Story: Chris found Hot Dog while out on the patio at an old job. The cat was half starved and abandoned, wandering out of a field.

Issues: Elitist, crotchety old man complex, refuses to use a used litter box, pees in tub (and everywhere else), property destruction
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Though I have ‘adopted’ Hot Dog as one of my own, Hot Dog is really Chris’ cat– they’ve been friends for over a decade.

While out on the patio at work one day, Chris heard a raspy meowing coming from the field that surrounded the building. From the weeds emerged a cat, half starved, abandoned, and looking for food.

Being the cat lover that he is, Chris immediately went to find something for the cat to eat. At the vending machine inside the building, he examined his options. The only thing he saw that was suitable for a cat to eat was a hot dog. Chris took the hot dog to the cat and the cat ate it, bun and all. Chris took the cat home and the name came easily: Hot Dog.

Hot Dog is, in a word, BIG. He’s massive. Enormous. He’s 18 pounds of pure muscle, covered in a huge, fluffy coat of long Maine Coon hair. His tail is the diameter of my forearm. His paws are twice the size of the other cats’. His head is wide, strong, thick, and big. Hot Dog is an imposing cat, and his size alone commands attention and respect.

Hot Dog is extremely independent and refuses to stay inside. After over a year of trying to keep him indoors, we dealt with one too many shredded screens in the patio and decided to let him go back outside. We were nervous because we’d just moved to Sarasota, but Hot Dog’s no dummy– he knows where he lives and knows where he gets fed.

As he’s aged, Hot Dog has grown increasingly crotchety and elitist. He’s always had a habit of randomly peeing in the bath tub, but lately he’s decided that no litter box is clean enough for his manly ass, so he started leaving massive puddles right on the tile next to the litter box. Needless to say, we don’t leave him unattended in the house anymore.

And Hot Dog doesn’t just want attention; when he’s ready for love, he demands it. He’ll give you his scratchy, demanding “MEOW.” God forbid you pull your hand away before he’s done being loved, because he’ll just take a swipe at it in an attempt to force you to pet him.

That said, Hot Dog is anything but vicious or mean. Sure, he’s brought home beheaded birds and bloody lizards, but he doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. He’s got a deep, rumbling purr and an affectionate nature that he readily shares (when he feels like it, of course). Being the largest and fluffiest cat, it’s a special treat to have him sleep on your feet– his weight and soft fur are especially comforting in a way that the other cats just can’t supply. Sometimes, he demands to sleep in our bedroom (where, thankfully, he will not pee), and it’s easy to fall asleep with his purring throat resting against your foot.

In fact, Hot Dog is so affectionate that he made a new friend down the street. One day, we got a knock at the door. It was a neighbor from just around the corner, asking if we own a big fluffy black cat. Chris went to their house to check it out. He walks in and finds Hot Dog kicking it on their pool table as though he owns the place. Apparently, the older woman who owns the house recently had her kitty pass over the Rainbow Bridge. When Hot Dog started meowing around her house, she thought it was an angel of her beloved kitty. She started grooming Hot Dog, petting him, and feeding him, even going so far as to let Hot Dog into the house whenever he wanted. We can always tell when Hot Dog’s been hanging out over there because he comes home smelling like patchouli.

Hot Dog is the ‘old man’ of the house. His affection, size, and personality make him stand out from all the other kitties– or maybe he’s just standing on them.