Name: Vincent Van Gogh

Age: Not sure, but approximately 6

Breed: Gray tabby

Nicknames: Loverman, loverboy, linebacker, Vince, Casanova, Mr. Handsome

Adoption Story: Vince was abandoned by the tenant who lived in one of Chris’ old apartments before he lived there.

Issues: constant state of euphoria, mouth breathing

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Vince is one of the most … interesting cats we’ve ever met.

Vincent is one of three cats that Chris and I took in when we (Chris and I … and the cats) moved in together. At the time, Chris lived in an apartment in a quadraplex. The girl who lived there before him was a crackhead stripper. She owned two cats: Mercedes and Bentley. When Chris moved in, she gave him $20 to watch the cats for a week. Being the cat lover that he is, Chris agreed. The girl never came back.

Chris and I started dating a few months after he moved into this apartment. We kept feeding ‘Mercedes’ and ‘Bentley,’ and they both soon became part of our little family. When Chris and I moved in together almost a year later, we decided to take the cats (including a couple of their kittens, but that’s a different story) inside and officially adopt them.

The name ‘Bentley’ just didn’t suit this cat, like, at all. Considering that ‘Bentley’ was missing half an ear, it was easy to come up with his name: Vincent Van Gogh, after the painter who (in)famously cut off his ear for a woman that he loved.

It’s difficult to describe Vincent, and really, words just don’t do him justice. Vince is a lover to an extreme degree. He’s the Barry White of cats, the Luther Vandross of the feline world, the Casanova of purring pets. When he makes kitty dough (you know, the kneading that cats do when they’re happy), he literally puts himself into a coma. He starts out fast, then eventually kneads so slowly that I don’t even think he’s aware that he’s still alive. It’s really incredible. He also has a tendency to be so relaxed, his mouth hangs open and his tongue hangs out. He trusts everyone and nothing bothers him. A nuclear bomb could go off in his ear and he wouldn’t even flinch.

You may be wondering how Vince’s ear got cut off. We really can’t be sure– we took him in ‘as is,’ so he was already missing half of his left ear and had that nasty scar across his nose when we got him. Recently, someone told us that some of those spay/neuter programs that pick up strays clip the cats’ ears to keep track of who’s been spayed or neutered already, so that’s a possible explanation for Vince. In any case, Vince’s ‘tough guy’ look is really misleading, because he’s the most mellow cat we know.

Vince’s girlfriend is Mama Bear, who was once known as ‘Mercedes.’ His alleged son is Toester, but that’s another story (and possibly cause for calling the Maury Povich show for a paternity test).